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Posted by Veneficus on November 11, 2021

Screaming Heroes Inn

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Screaming Heroes Inn

Heroes may rest here at 10 gold per turn to replenish HP, or purchase a mug (5gp) or tankard (10gp) of ale for which you have the pleasure of listening to the barkeeps tales The History of the Screaming Heroes Inn or Legend of the Leprechaun Valley.

Also; heroes end up here if either the Farseer, Sorceror or Wizard found atop of the Wizard Tower casts "Change of Heart" upon them.

The History of the Screaming Heroes Inn[edit]

Formerly known as The Tavern of the Trampled Gnome, the original building was much smaller than it is today.

Due to an unforeseen circumstance brought about by a seemingly unrelated ruling by the Wizards Conclave in K.A. 1440, the Inn has enjoyed a period of remarkable prosperity. In K.A. 1450 the old building was greatly expanded and renamed, The Screaming Heroes Inn (which was originally just a nickname given to the place by the local patrons).

The old Inn was renowned for it’s signature drink, the Crushed Gnome, a concoction of Rum, Grenadine, and a specially fermented broccoli paste – to give the drink its green color – the beverage is traditionally served in a small (gnome sized) helmet-shaped goblet. The Inn is also locally noteworthy as the oldest constructed building in Lormidia (if you discount the tremendous age of the Citadel - which technically wasn’t constructed in Lormidia.)

According to local legend the story of the Inn’s construction is as follows...

The reconstruction of Lormidia was a huge undertaking; many men, dwarves, gnomes and other races were involved, as were the wizards and the barbarians. Plans for all the buildings were drawn up and hundreds of cartloads of supplies and equipment were sent from the surrounding cities to aid in the construction.

However, construction was immediately halted (before it really began) because there was a great controversy over what building to construct first. The nobles wanted a Castle to go up first. The wizards insisted that a Wizards guild be constructed before the Castle was raised. The Dwarves argued that a series of Ballista Towers surrounded by moats be set up immediately. The Barbarians demanded a temple to Krolm be the first (and only) construction.

The legend goes on to say this debate went on for 3 days and nights before a Gnome carpenter, frustrated by the lengthy impasse, suggested an inn be constructed so debate over the first building could continue indoors and over a mug of ale. Everyone agreed that the idea should be put in to action at once.

The Inn is also famous for being constructed faster than any Inn in all of Ardania.

Upon completion, everyone raised a tankard of ale in celebration of the construction of Lormidia's first building. Actually they raised many tankards of ale, and it was subsequently decided that the second building constructed in Lormidia be an outhouse.

After the construction of the outhouse, it was suggested that the Gnomes idea was brilliant and he should be given the title “Official Advisor of Lormidia”.

Tragically, the Gnome who made the suggestion was killed in ensuing stampede to construct the Inn (The stampede started after it was publicly announced to the entire workforce that free drinks were to be provided to every worker just as soon as the Inn was built).

The news of the Gnome’s death made several people momentarily pensive, so it was decided that the Inn (being his idea) would bear his name in epitaph. Unfortunately, after all the celebration nobody could remember the name of the Gnome.

The Inn however, stands today as a legacy to his idea (albeit a largely unremembered legacy since the name of the Inn changed).

Legend of the Leprechaun Valley[edit]

Some time ago, a Cultist burst in here, but unlike the ones you can see cowering under assorted pieces of furniture, he wasn’t screaming in a Sorcerer-induced terror. Instead he was laughing hysterically, stopping only occasionally to shout that everything was green. After he had calmed down a bit, he recounted the most ridiculous story about a chest that teleported him to a valley where everything – land, sky, water, fire – was green. It sounded more like a hallucination than anything else (I hear Cultists make a brew that has precisely that effect).

He did mention, though, that there were Leprechauns in this place, which he kept calling a valley, despite never mentioning hills or mountains. If you’re lucky, you won’t know that a Leprechaun is a nasty little man in green that drains money like a Vampire does blood. A valley populated entirely by them would be enough for an ordinary lunatic, but this Cultist insisted that his valley had additional horrors (every Cultist tries to be more insane than the others, they say). Rocks with mouths, trees that were Daemonwood and weren’t, and get this... creatures that stole his body and made him hit himself. He continued ranting and raving about all this nonsense, then finally proclaimed that he escaped his plight by killing a Leprechaun and 'stealing an exit that wasn’t there'.

As fate would have it, he no sooner said that when our latrine-gnome happened to wander in the tavern. He was nearly covered, head to toe, in bits of moldy-green cabbage. The cultist took one look at him and lost all composure. He pointed at the little gnome and screamed, 'There's another one! Kill him! Kill them all!'. Terrified, the gnome bolted out the door, followed closely by the crazy cultist, and neither has been in here since.